The Top Four Ways to Shoot Yourself in the Head

CaptureI am having an absolutely rubbish week. This Pearl is a day late because of tech problems yesterday (still not fully resolved). I have just spent 20 minutes trying to book my car in for a service (Geeze I used to have people to do this for me.) My 200 Watt uplighter is producing clouds of frying fly vapour and to deal with this I need to unscrew the top and hoover the damn thing out. (I never had other people to do that for me.) I need to ring the US today to cancel my subscription to a software company. Can you believe that – I need to phone them. It’s 2013 FFS!

But you know I’m all OK with this nonsense really. Because all of it is outside of my control. I did not cause the tech problem that delayed this Pearl. I am not responsible for the process stupidity that requires twenty minutes to book my car in for a service. I did not design my uplighter to make it accessible to suidical flies who can no longer listen to me trying to book my car in for a service. I did not make the cynical and loathsome decision to place a synthetic cancellation barrier in front of me like did to me. Thanks guys! Have a nice day! I hope you choke on your lunch.

So although all this stuff makes me mad, it’s all OK really because I am not doing it to myself. It’s external, beyond my control and getting upset about that stuff has to have limits and must be kept in perspective. The time to get mad is when we waste our time ourselves, or let it be done to us when we can prevent it.

There are many ways to shoot yourself in the head but there are four that are used more than any other and these are they…

Way 1 – reading email like a junky takes junk.

I am watching Breaking Bad right now…the story of an everyday law abiding crystal meth manufacturer or “cook”. I have these skills. Makes you wonder. Stop abusing yourself with email. The email doesn’t work. It just makes it worse. The only reason you feel the need to read the next email is because you read the last one. You need the continuing dopamine hit. You have stimulated your biochemical pleasure pathway, yes you have, and you think you can control it but you can’t. It used to be just one or twice a day but now it’s all the time. Break the cycle. Kick the habit. You are responsible for what you put in your eyes. One hit per day. You will become clearer headed and your complexion will improve.

Way 2 – answering the phone when it rings.

This is simply Way 1 in another medium. Your callers are not ringing you to offer to do your work or to give you money. And no one rings you to tell you your house is on fire. Limit yourself to one hit per day. Deal with all the messages then.

Way 3 – people.

“Have you got a minute?” No you don’t. But don’t be rude. Unless it’ll make you feel better.

Way 4 – the whirling dervish inside your head.

Get it out. Here’s a piece of handy advice – you cannot think inside your head. You cannot think inside your head. Get it all out onto a piece of paper and then think about it. A simple pro/con list will sort out most problems in life, or at the very least give you the next step. Whereas if you don’t get it all out, it can stay in your head forever and ever. Never resolved. Yuk.  

So, it’s 1123 am and I shall post this in 20 mins or so after a final scan through. I have lost a few hours because of others but I forgive them. They are weak. What’s important is that I never contribute to this madness myself. And I won’t. Just as soon as I’ve hoovered up the smoking fly carcasses.

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